My Little Catch Twenty-Two

When people establish relationships, typically both party to the lovin' have made some sort of compromise and understand each other.  Now, I cannot claim to understand one person in particular.  If this is a relationship, I'm a fool (already am, it's redundant).  But, often this is a subject of personal scrutiny, I think too much.  Therefore, I will over analyze everything in this ridiculous entry.

Doesn't this put me on the right track for Foreign Language Analyst, then?

I digress and apologize.  Reasonable people know what they want and establish limits as to what shit they will or will not take.  Sacrifice a little sanity for the sake of true love, you know?  I sacrifice nothing because I'm a little bit selfish (not a secret - I live alone for a reason).  However, I too often make excuses for the poor, translucent behavior of others, just because I would rather trick myself into think there is no problem and I am not making a terrible fool of myself.  Unfortunately, the case is almost always the latter.  I might as well walk under a little dunce cap for relationship martyrs. 

For example, if a person is blatantly rude and condescending, I will excuse the behavior due to mild intoxication.  Just because this happens every day, with or without alcohol, bears no consequence on my automatic excuse generating.  Now, I know that people see through these little self-delusional lies I tell others.  I only reiterate them to convince myself I had not actually made up some ridiculous tale. 

To preserve my own pride, let me explain the circumstances this event surrounds and with whom it usually happens.  First, I have to be sincerely interested in this person.  Second, at some point, they had to show a real sign of affection.  Third, the person must be a bit enigmatic about himself.  He is slightly unusual, but remains to be rather intriguing.  Usually a loner.  I give in to their downpours of affection and subsequent withdrawals entice me thoroughly.  I suppose it's similiar to bass fishing, but I have never gone fishing.  I just understand the concept of getting hooked and reeling.

Whilst I am usually confident and savvy about personal situations, there is always someone to throw a stick under my wheels causing me to trip up on their little surprises.  What is seemingly such a perfect little endeavor, with two eager hearts, often develops into a sardonic, twisted mess of a story that results in lengthy journal entries examining where I have gone wrong.

Am I right, or am I right?